Love is not for weak people nor nice guy.
Why do i say so?
Because Love is a part of life where you win by losing. Your happiness is not what matters in love. The feelings of your partner matters in love.
I read this quote which said, If she says she likes colour blue, and even if i dont like it i will say yes, blue is my favorite color. She can say any color, black, red, pink, white. Any color. As long as i get to see her eyes filled with happiness, i am okay with any color. Her happiness is what matter. The world which she views and which makes her happy is enough of a world for me.
So, life is a constant battle with the outside world. We have to fight with peoples, things, circumstances, situations, jobs, everyone.
And here is where the difference comes.
We win at the outer circumstances, so we can be happy in our inner circumstances
Nice guys who are constantly losing their battles with everyone, and every situation when in a relationship will put their effort to win in the place they have to lose.
I mean, being scolded by the boss, being defeated by the circumstances, they are hopeless. They dont act to fight this circumstances.
But when the person who cares for them comes, they finally get a grip of their power. Why? Because their partner gives them the power.
And not understanding that is love, that is the feeling you should protect, these nice guys, try to win and dominate and be passive agressive.
Let me give you an example.
You are a student, you have no friends, you have people who are there to take something from you. You understand that, people will come to you only if you have something they want. And thats part of life. But what you dont understand is that, you have to put a boundary to how much you will give to those people. If you can put a boundary and fight for it, you have courage enough to stand enough, you are a strong person. But if you dont stand for your boundary, you are weak. You are defined by external circumstances.
This is the difference between strong and weak people.
While strong people say, no this is not how you treat me, or speak with me .
Weak people say, yeah, i deserve this. He or she is right.
And when they bear unnecessary pain, they carry a burden with them.
Then they have no place to give up this stress. And when there is a partner for them, the strong people not having such burden of being powerless, can retreat themselves to their partner.
But weak people carrying this burden of being powerless, become power hungry with their partner, which fucks things up.
So, my advice to people?
We know, we cant choose the parents who we are born to, or friends we get to meet, or even people we meet.
We have no control over external circumstances.
But what we can do is just dont give your power of internal to anyone.
- You were born alone, you will die alone.
- You are not god, you cant help everyone and love everyone or care for everyone.
So, choose the person who you love and care. Have boundary.
Make few friends, really good friends, have good relation with parents and your partner.
And for these people, raise hell if something happens to them, other than these people, be unapologetic about anything you do.
Live for these few valuable people in world, and think and act for them. Be responsible for them.
And in the process of doing it, you can be authentic and strong and have a boundary for yourself.
You are not born to live for yourself. While I said, that we are born alone and will die alone, it doesnt mean, we have to live alone. We have to give our lives for people who matter to us.
And in the long run, its changes your path, your life.
You will meet a lot of people in your life.
You will realize, the person who hated you back in school has nothing to do with you now. He or she was not that important person in your life. Neither was they talking for your good or anything. They was just releasing their stress on you.
Now you think about that person and say, shit that block head, if only i could meet him now, i would fuck him up.
But now you realize, if only you had spoken up, if you had made a boundary at that time, you wouldnt feel this feeling.
The words or scolding by your best friends, parents, partner are good for you. Accept it but not by others.
Never let others put you down. No matter if its your boss or king.
Die that accept their intention of putting you down.
Life may seem its over in a short time in our memory, but the actual reality is longer. So, be authentic, for fear, I say, everyone has fear, dont give into fear, put a boundary, and have special people you want to protect and other than that, fuck the world.
Just look at peaky blinders Thomas Shelby, whatever he does, he does for his family. In the process of doing so, he protects his family, but he also does works which benefits the world.
That is the way you should live.
Good luck.
So, if you want to live a good life, be a strong man, or strong person.
And take shit from where you should and give shit where you should.
And dont take shit from you shouldnt.
Peace out.
