Yeah, you guessed it right.
I think for sometimes in a while, is it difficult to be a parent.
I mean, if you think about it, giving birth to a child takes a whole new level of commitment, toll, difficult on you.
You have not got a new responsibility, new life which demands all your attention, life, focus towards the new life.
So, you stop your dream, your life, give up your freedom, your dream. And focus only on the child upbringing.
And knowingly or unknowingly, you make yourself believe that, all the things you could have had accomplished in the world, is the things you achieved before getting the baby.
After you give birth to the baby, you give your dreams, aspirations to the child.
And for one thing i would say that,
Yeah, they got the right to do so. Because they gave birth to a child and abandoned their dream and life.
But no, they are wrong. If you have a dream, you go and fulfill your dream and ambitions. Dont give a F about the world, relatives, friends. Anyone.
You go, get your dream and if you want then, get a baby. If there was a chance for you, you will get married, have a child, if not, Thats all there was to life.
I dont want to be an vessel of your inspiration or dream or should I say, your unfulfilled dreams, and trauma.
I am an human being of my own, i have my own consciousness, my own life.
I love you and i respect for you are my parent, but that doesnt mean that i should go on killing my consciousness and my dreams and stand in front of you like a robot or a puppet, who does and things as you say.
But sometimes, i ask myself.
If one day i were to be an parent, would i be the same as my parents?
Would i expect from my children?
Would i give my life, my freedom, my dream for my children? And then give my dream, and the trauma behind them to my children?
Will i be the person, who cant see nothing but my children as only tools, puppet to fulfill my dream?
Will i be so insecure that i cant have an decent conversation with my children?
Will i be so inside my head, i wont have any idea about my children?
Will i love my children?
Will i hate my children for taking my freedom?
Will i get angry at my children for not doing exactly as i want them to do?
Is being an parent a difficult job?
Am i being a childish person, asking my parents to just have an decent conversation with me?
Am i being a childish person, asking my parents to have just an 1% of understanding for my actions?
Am i being a childish person, asking my parents to live their life and let me live mine?
Am i being a childish person, asking my parents to show me just 1% of love.
Am i being childish person, asking my parents to save my phone number as SON, than just my name?
Am i being childish person, asking my parents to just treat me as their children?
Or SHOULD I HATE MYSELF FOR I WAS BORN AND THEN I TOOK AWAY THEIR DREAMS AND FREEDOM AWAY FROM THEIR LIFE.
I CAN GIVE REASONS LIKE, ITS YOU WHO GAVE BIRTH TO ME? BUT WHAT CAN BE THE ANSWER TO IT?
I DONT KNOW.
BUT SOMEWHERE DEEP DOWN IN MY HEART.
I WANT MY PARENTS TO TREAT ME AS THEIR CHILD.
I WANT FRIENDS TO TREAT ME AS A FRIEND.
I WANT BROTHER TO TREAT ME AS A BROTHER.
But hey, see here,
Its all about what i want and not what other want.
Maybe, i will get answer to these questions, maybe life or experience or pain will make me understand these things.
But for now, i want to be selfish.
I want to be treated right. I want to feel loved. I want to feel being loved for being me, for expressing myself, for just being.
But world is not as sweet as one thinks.
Maybe, until and unless i add or provide value to the world, i wont be a part of the world.
