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I have always been a perfectionist in my thoughts. And being a perfectionist has ruined me.
No one is responsible my life than I, me, myself.
There are many people in the world, and for some feelings might be nothing. They have to-do list and they do it. They dont care about their feelings or emotions or thoughts, they are just like a sharp sword, or an arrow, who are focused and know themselves.
But there are also people who put more of their efforts or focus on thoughts.
And among them being a perfectionist is worst.
Let's say for example, i have a person in my life. In my head, i have laid this plan, that this person should say this, do this, and everything. And beware, these are all in my head. But then, when that person doesnt do the exact things i wanted them to do, i get upset or overthink. Its like i am playing a god by myself.
It has always been this way. I would always expect every person to behave in a certain way and when they wouldnt i would close off myself to them.
It wasnt their fault, it was my fault.
Then one day, a person i respected said, you try to live your life in a linear pattern. In a hospital, if you see a patients heartbeat in monitor it goes up and down, it is never straight. If it is straight that person is dead. Life stops happening he said.
He said, you have to move on with failure in mind. Nothing will happen what you want to, yeah…
